does it sound familiar?

I ran through my notes and found this cute anecdote:

” I went to my wife & asked, “Honey, what can I do to help us get ready on time?” Now, I didn’t really mean that. I really meant, What can I do to help you get over your problem of being so late? But I said it properly: “What can I do to help us get ready on time?”

“The first thing,” she said, “is that you could hang up your clothes. You try on various combinations of clothes & let them lay all over the bedroom.” I’d always wondered how my clothes made their way back on the hangers!

“Second,” she continued, “you could help get the children ready for bed.”

“You do that, too huh? Okay. I’ll hang up my clothes & help with the children.”

“Finally,” she said, “maybe you could get ready early & troubleshoot around the house when someone calls or comes to the door. Instead of yelling from the bathroom, ‘Honey, would you get that?’ maybe you could get it.”

The entire dialogue sent me into a state of shock! It was as if I had walked into the bedroom with a 20-gauge shotgun aimed directly at my wife’s weaknesses & right when I pulled the trigger, my gun blew up on me! What I thought was her problem was really my problem!

I realized there was a lesson to be learned from my wife’s weakness, & the lesson in that particular case was not patience–although I needed a little bit of that–but becoming sensitive to the needs of my mate”

 

Why love?

http://www.worldometers.info/                    

For those who love to stay updated! …

I thought you may find this link interesting, as I did!

You may want to  make each minute count by being the most loving

person you can be!

Have a great week!

 

Your Birthday, My Love!

As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated.

Gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over.

For your mate’s next birthday, take some time to plan something very special.

Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and appreciation.

Every person, even adults, like attention and love to be appreciated.

Whether a surprise party or not, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.

 

Coaching Art

While working on the new series of seminars and workshops, called the “Art of Coaching”, I was taking some time to reflect if the name really applied to my project.

We have already a dozen of seminars on the “Art of Living”, one course on the “Art of Loving”, and I believe that we can all agree that Living and Loving can be considered arts.  But what about coaching? In what way could coaching be considered an art?

Well, one thing that stands out to me whenever I admire a masterpiece, or listen to an impressive piece of music, is that this kind of art moves me.  Art makes me come in contact with new emotions, makes me travel in time and space though I may be just sitting down or standing up in one place. It fills my spirit, and my spiritual senses. It brings me into a world where everything is perfect, even in its drama. It leads me to different dimensions. It opens my window into the life of another. It brings out beauty, greatness, even purpose. There is a magical connection between the artist and me, as I enjoy his work of art.

I guess that much of this can be said for coaching as well, though in a different context. Besides, not only the coach can be an artist in bringing out the best in the coachee, but the coachee also partakes of the art, by designing his life, purpose, and goals in new ways, and with new, vivid colors.

Together we can create outstanding masterpieces of your love and life.

 

Pause to Focus

by Peter Bregman

In An 18-Minute Plan for Managing Your Day, I suggested setting a watch, phone, or computer to ring every hour and at the sound of the chime, taking one minute to ask yourself if the last hour had been productive. Then, during that pause, deliberately committing to how you are going to use the next hour. It’s a way to keep yourself focused on doing what you committed to doing.

But there’s another way to use that minute as well. Take that deep breath and ask yourself if, in the last hour, you’ve been the person you want to be. And then, during that pause, deliberately recommit–not just to what you are going to do but also to who you are going to be during the next hour. It’s a way of staying recognizable to yourself. And to others.

If we’re going to reverse the momentum, we need an interruption. When I yelled at my kids I immediately regretted it, which interrupted my self-defeating behavior. That interruption was all I needed to remind myself that I was not that kind of father. I stopped everything I was doing, sat and held them, and apologized for raising my voice.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the interruption were a chime rather than a yell? And if it came before I lost my temper?

But, most likely, your chime won’t come at exactly the right time. How many of us lose it exactly on the hour?

It doesn’t matter. Losing control, becoming someone you’re not, happens over time. It builds throughout several hours. That once-an-hour reminder, that one deep breath, that question about who you want to be, keeps you stable. It keeps you you.

Ask yourself if you’re trying to accomplish too much or focusing on the wrong things. In other words, disrupt the source that destabilizes you. Reduce your feeling of being overwhelmed. Reconnect with the outcome you’re trying to achieve, not just the things you’re doing. Then you’ll react less and achieve more.

 

How to Find the 25th Hour in the Day

by Jessica Stillman

Young or old and across all industries, people complain that they don’t have the time to do what they really want to do–be it start a business, write a book, get fit or spend more time with their families. If only there were more hours in the day, we tell ourselves. Of course it’s impossible to slow the sun and literally make daylight last longer, but there are things you can do to make it seem like you have more time, according to Laura Vanderkam, author of new book 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think.

Recently she spoke with career expert Lyndsey Pollak for a 15-minute podcast about her new book and how to fit more important activities into your day, offering these simple, sensible tips.

* Track your time. Just like counting calories helps you lose weight, writing down the way you spend your time helps you identify “empty hours” when you’re not doing things that fulfill you. You can download a free time-tracking sheet from Laura’s website.

* Focus on what you’re good at. Many of us waste hours of our lives doing things we think we “should” do, rather than focusing on what we’re skilled at or what we really enjoy. If you can eliminate an activity from your schedule, do it.

* Create a “List of 100 (or 1,000!) Dreams.” The point of using your hours wisely is not just to be more productive, but to have time to do the things you want to do in life. By creating this list, you’ll see what activities, people and events really matter to you. And you’ll start checking them off.

 

4 Ways to Spend Time with Your Kids When You Have No Time

by Erin Kurt

It was Dr. Anthony P. Witham who once said “children spell love…T-I-M-E.” He was definitely onto something. Unfortunately, if you are like most parents, time is a precious commodity that often eludes us. Whether we have a new job, a new baby, or we just need to make the coffee or strip the beds, we always seem to be wishing for more time. We need more. We want more. But we feel we just don’t have it. Does that mean we don’t love them? Of course not.

Spending quality time with our children is extremely important for their development and happiness. I have interviewed thousands of children around the world and they told me that time spent with them doesn’t need to be elaborate or long, but it must be “quality”. We must find ways then to slow down and slip in some memorable time that will let our children know that we love and care for them.

Many children will let you know in their own “subtle” ways if they feel that you are not giving them the attention that they need. Some will withdraw while others will “act out.” You might see it when a child gives “lip” to a teacher, fights with another classmate or resorts back to behaviors that once got your attention like increased crying, throwing tantrums or even bed-wetting. This is a way to capture your attention, albeit often negative, so that they can enjoy “focused” time with you. Essentially the thought process is, “if I can’t get her attention by doing something good, I’ll get her attention by doing something bad.” Nobody wants that!

So how can you find time when you feel you don’t have any to spend?

1. One-on-one time. Alone time with your child is best when you are doing something you both enjoy. With one family it may be the time when Dad takes the baby so Mom can spend time with the older child. This could mean going to a movie, going to the local theater to see Cinderella, or just sitting at the park on a bench and talking. The frequency of one-on-one time is up to you, but the children I interviewed said at least once a month is the minimum. If you are a single mother with more than one child you could arrange it so that each Saturday you spend quality time with one of your children and the last Saturday of the month you spend quality time as a family.

Marking your dates down on a calendar is a great idea and shows your children you make this time a priority.

2.Integrate Together Time into Your Daily Schedule. Children love to help. Do you have a mailing to do? Have them put the stamps on the envelopes. Need to go shopping? Make grocery shopping “fun time” with you. Need to make dinner? Let them help you by contributing to the preparation process. While it might be messier and it may time more time in the beginning, you will see that the children will become your greatest helpers and they will look back and remember that “before dinner” was always special time with you.

3. Phantom Time. Don’t have a moment to spare until about 3 a.m.? You can still let your children know that you care. Write notes and drop them into their lunch boxes. This was one of the top ten things children told me made them feel loved and cared for by their parent. Other ideas would be to record a short video for them using a camera and leaving it for them at the breakfast table. Be creative here!

4. Break time. Everyone is busy. Some parents are busier than others. Slide in a “break time” so that you and your children can spend 15 minutes or a half hour together. Set a timer if you need to so that everyone knows when “break time” starts and finishes. Give warnings to your children when 2 minutes are left so that it doesn’t come as a surprise. Don’t even have break time available? Wake your child up 15 minutes early so that you can spend a little extra time doing something fun in the morning. You might not think that 15 minutes is any significant time at all, but to a child, it is 15 extra minutes with you.

Spending time with your children provides them with opportunities to learn and to be heard. Most of all, it provides you and your children with time to connect. It’s these connections that make your children feel loved. So leave the beds unstripped for another few minutes and put the coffee on an automatic timer. Take those extra moments to spend with your children. When you look back, you will be thankful for the memories.

 

I have time!

By Mel Robbins, January 27, 2010

Your most important relationship as an entrepreneur isn’t with your investors, your partner, your customers or your spouse—it’s with time.

I have three kids, a media company to run, a daily radio show, a new TV show and an entrepreneur husband with three restaurants. I don’t have any time, but I do have a powerful relationship with time.

It wasn’t always that way. For years, I felt like I was in a whirlwind. When I launched my company, I literally felt like my life was out of control. We all have impossibly long to-do lists and there are never enough hours in the day.

I’m sure you know the feeling. It’s not just that the days flew by. That was the good part. The problem was I felt like I wasn’t getting anything accomplished. So many things demanded my attention; there were so many fires to put out. I felt like I was running in circles.

I spent all day telling myself, “I don’t have time,” and I started to believe it. You probably do the same thing.

I wasn’t running a business; the business was running me—ragged. I was so busy whipping myself into a frenzy over how little time I had, I spent all day racing around, trying to jam everything in. I kept wishing for more hours in a day, and then, it finally dawned on me—it’s not going to happen. I can’t change how much time I have; I can only change my relationship to it.

The first step to changing your relationship with time is to change how you think about time.

Step 1: Notice how much you actually speed up time by telling yourself (all day long), “I’m running out of time”; “I don’t have enough time”; “Hurry up”;

“Time’s almost up”; “I can’t fit that in.” Those phrases start a chain reaction and send you spiraling into a frenzy as you try to jam it all in.

Step 2: Recognize that everything you’ve ever needed to get done, you have. When’s the last time you ever actually missed out on something because you ran out of time? Every term paper you waited until the last minute to write, you actually got done; you just pulled an all-nighter to do it. Every big presentation, pitch or bid got done—in exactly the amount of time you had.

I’ve come to realize that the amount of time each task takes is exactly the same as the amount of time I have to get it done in. You actually do have time when you need it—plenty of it. You are just so busy rushing to keep up that you don’t think you do.

Step 3: Accept that the problem isn’t time. The problem lies in your priorities and your habit of turning everything into an emergency. The answer isn’t more hours in a day; the answer is exerting power over your to-do list and focusing on what is actually important. Most of what’s on your plate can wait—an hour, a day, a week, a month or even a year.

The thing that can’t wait another minute is adjusting what you say to yourself about time and how you prioritize what’s important. Try this: There’s one thing on your plate that you feel pressure to get done. Start it right now. And as you work on it, repeat in your head your new mantra: I have time.

You’ll be amazed. You don’t have to rush through everything. You don’t have to do it all at once. You can pick the most important thing, and slow down. Because now you have what no other entrepreneur has—time.

Mel Robbins is a nationally syndicated radio talk show host, CNBC contributor, spokesperson for Microsoft and serial entrepreneur.