does it sound familiar?

I ran through my notes and found this cute anecdote:

” I went to my wife & asked, “Honey, what can I do to help us get ready on time?” Now, I didn’t really mean that. I really meant, What can I do to help you get over your problem of being so late? But I said it properly: “What can I do to help us get ready on time?”

“The first thing,” she said, “is that you could hang up your clothes. You try on various combinations of clothes & let them lay all over the bedroom.” I’d always wondered how my clothes made their way back on the hangers!

“Second,” she continued, “you could help get the children ready for bed.”

“You do that, too huh? Okay. I’ll hang up my clothes & help with the children.”

“Finally,” she said, “maybe you could get ready early & troubleshoot around the house when someone calls or comes to the door. Instead of yelling from the bathroom, ‘Honey, would you get that?’ maybe you could get it.”

The entire dialogue sent me into a state of shock! It was as if I had walked into the bedroom with a 20-gauge shotgun aimed directly at my wife’s weaknesses & right when I pulled the trigger, my gun blew up on me! What I thought was her problem was really my problem!

I realized there was a lesson to be learned from my wife’s weakness, & the lesson in that particular case was not patience–although I needed a little bit of that–but becoming sensitive to the needs of my mate”

 

It’s Monday!

What is Monday like to you?

I know some people dread it, but to me there is just something new, fresh and awesome about the dawning of a new week!

If somehow Monday mornings do have a sour flavor or are just not thrilling to you, try asking yourself:

– “What can  I do to make this day fun? How can I make this week an outstanding one?”

and  then, do it.

You could find yourself happier and more energized. You could end up saying: “It’s Monday! Bring it on!”

 

Goodbye, Loneliness!

What is LONELINESS?

It is not about being on your own. Many people enjoy being on their own and would choose this for themselves for at lest part of the time. They enjoy having their own space. They do not feel the need to have other people around all of the time to validate them or make them feel more comfortable.

If someone experiences feelings of LONELINESS; it is usually not influenced solely by where they are or whether other people are around. It is possible to be in a room full of people and still feel very much ALONE. You can be part of a social gathering and feel LONELY as you are on the periphery and not fully involved with what is going on.

This suggests that LONELINESS is a state of mind. It is tied up with how you feel about yourself.When we have a low self esteem, we have a choice about whether to change this or not. The prospect of change can be daunting.The challenge of embracing this is however very worthwhile, with rewards not only in terms of how you feel bout yourself but also in the quality of your life.

The first task in changing our self esteem is to alter the way in which we view ourselves.

1.Instead of bombarding ourselves with an onslaught of negative comments, try to focus on the more positive aspects about yourself.This could include, PHYSICAL, PRACTICAL, PERSONAL, EMOTIONAL, ATTRIBUTES or things you are good at, PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS..

2.Try asking members of your family, colleagues, friends, how they would describe you. This may reveal a number of POSITIVE statements about you which are surprising and / or uplifting. (Note of caution, choose wisely!)

(…to be continued)

 

 

Power Up

What is your recipe to power up?
How do you keep yourself from slipping into a negative mood, or into the sinking sands of discouragement?
How do you smile again after an argument or an unpleasant remark?
I know myself and how easily I can “lose it”. All it takes could be a quick look to the news, or yielding to the natural temptation to get lazy or easily irritated.
So my own recipe it’s to make time for “power up” first thing in the morning.
Early morning hours are special to me. All is quiet and whether I read, meditate, pray, or write seems to have more quality. It energizes me, and helps me to face the new day with a sparkling look and a happy face. It connects me with my love for life and for what I do. It’s a bit like the power up objects in video games, that when you touch them, they provide you with extra strengths and move you to a next level.
What is working for you?

 

Make a Masterpiece of Your New Year

There have been times, many years ago, when I would look forward to the New Year as if it would be some sort of generous entity that would have brought me lavishing gifts.

Though I still tend to think that it is (ah!) I must admit that what has made a major and positive difference at the dawn of every New Year is to ask myself one powerful question:

-“What will I bring into the New Year?”

and I know, deep in my heart, that this means more than one thing.  Here is what it does to me:

• It helps me to gain clarity on the year past: what I cherish, what I have learned, what I take away, what it’s profitable, what it’s not, what has to be changed, what can be used to empower me for the coming year.
• In order to answer to this question, I have to make time for self-reflection. This act in itself is an opportunity to re-envision myself.
• It makes the difference between being a passive spectator of life, or an active chooser with definite plans and goals.
• It encourages me to evaluate how I am standing in my life today.
• It asks me questions like:”What’s next? What is possible? How can I make things happen?”. These questions keep me alert, inspired, energized, and moving forward.
• Once I answer these questions, I make an inventory of my own resources, natural gifts, new good habits, great structures, goals, dreams, ideas, and see what would be useful, attainable, or workable.
• It helps me also, to keep proactive and identify possible roadblocks. This in itself, makes the roadblock “movable”.
• The concept itself of giving value to the New Year and to consider what and how I can make it valuable, inspires me, and makes me look into the future with greater anticipation!

And if this is speaking to you in any way, or if you have anything you’d like to share on this topic, you are welcome to post your comment below. You can also write me and I will include you into the upcoming webinar to “Make a Masterpiece of Your New Year”.

Best wishes for 2012!

 

“When the going gets tough….”

“When the situation becomes difficult, the strong will work harder to meet the challenge.”  This is how the famous saying: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!”has been explained.

Personally, it’s one of my favorites. It does the trick! It helps me to stay stirred up instead of taking the “downward road” that ends nowhere.

But I have met lots of challenges, and it has made a huge difference whenever I would find some kind of support. This is one of the reason  I am engaging in a new program called “Stamina- or how to find strength in tough times”.

It’s going to be a varied audio program, in which you can have a part too, meant to re-charge people who are going through tough times, whether spiritually, emotionally, or personally. If it can be of interest for you, please write me at info@withinyoucoach.com

 

Beautiful in Gray

When was the last time you were faced with one too many disappointments? Well, this morning was one of those mornings. As  I went out for a walk it felt as if my attitude  and my emotions completely matched the weather. The sky and the sea were as gray as they could be, it was windy and, apparently, not much of  a day to take a walk on the beach.  But I needed it! I needed to be alone for a while, alone with my favorite Presence.

As I was walking, my head and my heart were in turmoil. I was not tuning in to the small voice encouraging me to look around and enjoy the walk. and then I did it! I listened to the whispers challenging me:

“. Can you find beauty in the gray?”

At this time of the year Sundays are already filled with people with “summer in their bones” eager to partake of every ray of sunshine on the beach. But today there was hardly anybody around. It was just too cold and too windy.

 As I was walking, I saw one girl drawing a big heart while a friend was taking a picture of her.  Tucked in behind a cabin, there was a young mother playing with her child who was digging away, and filling up her bucket. I noticed two more people walking towards me, holding a racket in their hands. One of them had a funny t-shirt on that read: I am not normal.  I did smile, even if it was the last thing I thought of doing, and it felt good.

Right then and there I saw over twenty kite-surfers flying over the waves and coloring the scene. Not only they were fully enjoying this day and weather, but they were providing quite the show for the few people around.

I couldn’t help but feel a wave of optimism wiping my turmoil away. I don’t have to be gloomy. There is beauty in the gray, windy days as well if I will only look for it.

 

Beyond the desert

I remember it as if it was yesterday. How humiliation stang the first time I tried to roller skate.

The kids who were skating in the rink seemed to have wings around their feet. Some pretty girls were able to spin and twirl, amazingly!

Most of the time I was hanging to the bar, then I would launch out trying to imitate the basic steps. It didn’t look too hard, so why was I falling down, over and over again?

 

Whenever we attempt to learn something new it can be frightening,

Will I ever be able to?

Will I get hurt?

Why am I doing it?

These and many more questions and doubts can overpower us. We may feel confused, to say least. You may be feeling completely lost.

 

It’s like finding yourself in a desert.

 

The good news is that after multiple bruises, bumps, tears, and very poor performances, I did learn to skate, and it was awesome! The joy I felt once I had gained confidence, once I had replaced the uneasiness with ease, stayed with me for a long, long time. I was glad I had not given up when I felt like doing it. Now I could skate all I wanted and I was having a blast. It was definetely worth it all!

 

 

When we find ourselves on square A, and we want to get to square B, most of the times it may seem like if there is a desert in between. It does feel like crossing a desert: the price of learning something new that can shake us up and stir us from head to toe.

But beyond the desert, there is your destination!

 

Confident Lovers

–By Alan Loy McGinnis

When a person gains confidence, this inner beauty expresses itself in certain ways that are, in fact, physical.

1. Confident lovers use their eyes to attract. Watch any pair of lovers in a restaurant. There can be an awesome exchange of energy with the use of their eyes. “You have ravished my heart with a glance of your eyes,” the Song of Solomon cried thousands of years ago.

2. Confident lovers turn up their energy level. Anyone who has good results with the other sex knows how this approach works. A woman explained how she attracts men: “I’m not brazen about it, but if I want to get a man interested in me, I don’t try to parade in front of him, or do any of the preening rituals that some people try. I just turn up the energy level. And I focus on him. I forget how I may be coming across to him. In fact, I stop thinking about myself altogether.”

3. Confident lovers touch freely. Wonderful amounts of sexuality can be communicated with a light caress or a brush against someone’s hair. Many men complain that their wives are no longer sexy; but if they resensitised their fingers & began to caress the way they did while courting, they might turn their women into veritable courtesans.

4. Confident lovers seduce with talk. Skill at the witty line is not especially useful. Those who have become successful at meeting attractive strangers say that the single most important thing is to talk. Talk about anything. Do not try to think up some clever remark, but let the talk start as innocuously as most conversations do. Say, “Hello, are you having a good time?” If it is someone in the elevator, you can say, “Hi, do you work in this building

 

 

 

 

I-care-about-you-look

by Todd Smith

What would someone’s face look like who has an authentic interest in you as a person? Would these words come to your mind?

•Unhurried—Nothing is more important than you right now.
•Attentive—I would really enjoy learning more about you and your interests.
•Eye contact—I like you.
•Comfortable—I feel relaxed in your presence.
•Warm Smile—I am really enjoying our time together.

The I-care-about-you look is the look your best friend gives you. It’s the look your spouse or significant other gives you. It’s the look that the people who really do care about you have on their face when they see you. It’s the look that results from a cluster of facial expressions that says, “I care about you.”

The most difficult challenge in implementing this “I care about you” look is that it has to be genuine. I can quickly pick up on the things people do when they are trying to build an in-authentic relationship with me.

There is only one effective way to show people they are important to you and that is to truly care about them as people—not because of what they can offer to you. Reframe how you look at people and instead of looking at them as objects, look at them as people worthy of your love, respect and attention.